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Biker Diner Serenade
by
Edwin Romond


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I thought the tiny table top juke box
would only play in my booth so I pressed G-6
for a cute little tune, “The Unicorn Song.” But
its first words, There were green alligators
and long neck geese
blasted all over the diner
where a biker who’d just ordered the N.R.A Omelet
yelled, “Who in hell played that?” an inquiry
echoed by one with “Build The Wall!” tattooed
on his biceps. Suddenly there was a diner duet
of Fox News on the TV and the Irish Rovers
singing about humpty back camels.
It was the fellow eating the house special:
ham, pork roll, bacon, and scrapple
with a side order of Spam who pointed me out,
“There he is, he’s the one!” as I tried to hide
behind my egg whites and whole grain muffin
while the entire diner got to hear about all those
silly unicorns laughing and splashing

as Noah’s ark pulled away. Some bikers
were even moved to prayer and yelled,
“God Almighty! how long is this song?”
as verse after verse blasted through the room
filled with more chains and leather than
an S&M support group. Amazing
how interminable 3 minutes, eighteen seconds
can seem when you’re dodging sausage links.
The last notes finally filled the greasy air
and my waitress whispered, “They’re gonna
kill you!” so I sneaked out the back door
after pressing G-6 a second time just in case,
to make America great again,
they’d like to sing along.

From Songs and Singers, © 2018.
Used with the author’s permission.


Purchase a framed print of this poem.

Edwin Romond  is a poet, playwright, composer, and educator. Now retired, he taught English for more than 30 years in Wisconsin and New Jersey. Edwin's award-winning work has appeared in numerous literary journals, college text books and anthologies, and has been featured on National Public Radio. He maintains an active schedule of readings and presentations; check www.edwinromond.com to see if he's appearing anywhere in your area. A native of Woodbridge, New Jersey, Edwin now lives in Wind Gap, Pennsylvania, with his wife and son.


Post New Comment:
Richard Greene:
Richard Greene Aside from being LOL funny, this poem does what a political poem should, skewers by indirection rather than coming on with a sledge hammer as too many political poems do.
Posted 06/27/2018 06:16 PM
Jancan:
This LOL funny! Janice
Posted 06/26/2018 11:07 AM
penelopeschott:
Hysterical! A great story well told. Do you ever come to the west coast? I'd like to invite you to read in Portland. Penelope Scambly Schott penelopeschott@comcast.net
Posted 06/25/2018 04:03 PM
Larry Schug:
As if humpty-back camels, green alligators or long neck geese weren't Born to be Wild".
Posted 06/25/2018 11:49 AM
Lori Levy:
Great!
Posted 06/25/2018 11:33 AM
Belinda:
Reminds me of the "Wild Hogs" movie! Cute poem.
Posted 06/25/2018 10:48 AM
michael escoubas:
Laughing out Loud, Ed, all the way from central Illinois, where America truly needs to be made "great" again! Thank you.
Posted 06/25/2018 09:40 AM
cork:
Peggy Sue's on Maui has a similar jukebox that I have used. Your poem started my Monday with laughter and smiles.
Posted 06/25/2018 09:15 AM
Gilbert Allen:
Would that G-6 had a fully automatic setting!
Posted 06/25/2018 08:57 AM
mjorlock:
Funny and spot on! Scores its points with wit and understatement.
Posted 06/25/2018 08:21 AM
Sarah Russell:
Perfect!
Posted 06/25/2018 07:23 AM
KarlaLinn:
Thanks for the diner adventure. I was there!
Posted 06/25/2018 06:05 AM


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