They say I'm going to be eighty-four.
I feel like it's a whole lot more!
Like 102, when I'm running late
And can find one shoe but not its mate;
When I find I'm wearing mismatched hose.
When I'm having trouble with crooked toes.
When people are laughing, and I'm left out
'Cause I can't hear what the fun's about.
When I'm "down in the back," and weak in the knees,
And things are making me cough and sneeze.
There are swollen joints, and gas, and gout,
And teeth falling in, and hair falling out.

Life is rough. You'd better believe it...
But I find I'm not quite ready to leave it!


From One More Time (...just for the fun of it!) (Guideposts, 1999).
Used here with permission.