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Rules and Regulations
by
Lewis Carroll


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A short direction
To avoid dejection,
By variations
In occupations,
And prolongation
Of relaxation,
And combinations
Of recreations,
And disputation
On the state of the nation
In adaptation
To your station,
By invitations
To friends and relations,
By evitation
Of amputation,
By permutation
In conversation,
And deep reflection
You’ll avoid dejection.
 
Learn well your grammar,
And never stammer,
Write well and neatly,
And sing most sweetly,
Be enterprising,
Love early rising,
Go walk of six miles,
Have ready quick smiles,
With lightsome laughter,
Soft flowing after.
Drink tea, not coffee;
Never eat toffy.
Eat bread with butter.
Once more, don’t stutter.
 
Don’t waste your money,
Abstain from honey.
Shut doors behind you,
(Don’t slam them, mind you.)
Drink beer, not porter.
Don’t enter the water
Till to swim you are able.
Sit close to the table.
Take care of a candle.
Shut a door by the handle,
Don’t push with your shoulder
Until you are older.
Lose not a button.
Refuse cold mutton.
Starve your canaries.
Believe in fairies.
If you are able,
Don’t have a stable
With any mangers.
Be rude to strangers.
 
Moral: Behave.
 
This poem is in the public domain.
Purchase a framed print of this poem.

Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898) started life as Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. A preacher’s son, he began writing poetry as a child, which he published in homemade newspapers. Despite a stammer (he called it "a hesitation") which plagued him throughout his life, Lewis was a popular public speaker, as well as a gifted mathematician and photographer. Writing was his true calling, though, and he published at least a dozen literary works and another dozen mathematical works which brought him great fame and fortune. Lewis loved word play and and logic; many of his works include fun, nonsensical, or fantasy elements.

 

 


New comments are closed for now.
69Dorcas:
Great!
Posted 04/29/2012 11:21 AM
KevinArnold:
Twas bryllyg, and ye slythy toves Did gyre and gymble in ye wabe: All mimsy were ye borogoves; And ye mome raths outgrabe. The confounding cleverness of Jabberwocky comes through,albeit with more common words. I'm still musing on 'Starve your canaries/Believe in fairies.'
Posted 04/29/2012 09:08 AM
dotief@comcast.net:
Sounds like a spoken word poem. Or is that the other way around? Still, I like it!
Posted 04/29/2012 07:38 AM


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