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Strictly Germ-Proof
Arthur Guiterman


The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.

They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.

In sulphureted hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
And 'lected it a member of the Fumigated Band.

There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup,
The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.

This poem is in the public domain.


Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943) was an editor, book reviewer, and poet. Born in Vienna, Austria, to American parents, he was a small man who talked fast and was well-liked. Co-founder of the Poetry Society of America, he was best known for his humorous poems and his entertaining, rhyming book reviews. Arthur published more than a dozen books and his poems appeared in major magazines such as Life and The New Yorker on a regular basis.




Post New Comment:
Wilda Morris:
Ha ha! I was surprised to see how old this poem is! I had thought it might have been written after the publicizing of research that children who play in the dirt when little develop better immune systems. Great rhymes, rhythm and invented words.
Posted 11/19/2022 10:45 AM
Lori Levy:
Definitely relevant in Covid times.
Posted 11/18/2022 12:26 PM
An excellent poem, the words make a fun rhythm to read!
Posted 11/18/2022 11:15 AM
Hahahahahahahaha!!! I LOVE this poem!!!
Posted 11/18/2022 10:58 AM
Larry Schug:
I'm having a lot of fun reading words like sulfureted hydrogen" and "carbolated soap" aloud. Also digging the rhythm and rhyme, Great find, Jayne.
Posted 11/18/2022 07:26 AM
Well, LOL, at least its clean poem. Randy Mazie
Posted 11/18/2022 05:32 AM

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